A Quest at the Mall

This all happened yesterday, but I was too sleepy to type this entire story out.

My mom needed to buy my cousin a birthday present, so I tagged along. That’s literally how this story starts. I was just bored at home, and felt like going outside. (I know, how crazy of me, right?)

This turned into a quest very quickly, as soon as we climbed onto the escalators. See, my mom got onto it, but these two aunties managed to get between us, and so I was behind them. So it’s my mom, then them- a granny, a mother, and a little kid- and then finally me.

The kid is like on drugs or something- he was insanely hyper!- and had obviously just had over a spoonful of sugar, and was jitterbugging around, jumping up and down, constantly in motion. Then, he falls, drags Mama down with them, down a few steps to where I was standing, and dammit, I got stabbed in the ankle by that evil auntie’s heel!! I got stabbed in the ankle by an auntie’s heels!! I was also pushed, cuz damn she had some momentum going for her, and nearly slipped down the escalator (it was going up.) but since I’d gripped the railing thingie just in time, I was safe. After we got off the escalator, I gave them at least a 7 meter radius, and walked around them to my mom. That auntie was evil =/

No joke, after the kid did all that, I was expecting at least an ‘I’m sorry”, SOME form of an apology, but no, she just scolded him playfully, with the most lyrical fake voice ever, to make it sound like she was the best mother ever, scolding her kid for misbehaving, right in public, cheers to her for being so reasonably disciplined, and all that. I mean, you could HEAR the smugness in her voice, like she was thrilled to be in the spotlight- her time to shine. Bleh, desperate for attention. Another thing- who goes, just for the heck of it, shopping in heels? If your out with friends, or it’s a date, and you want to look nice for and to impress the people you are going with fine, but if you’re going with your son that’s barely capable of putting one foot in front of the other- wait, that more aptly describes his clumsiness, not his age…since he wasn’t that young. Son that’s around six or seven? and your mother, who obviously doesn’t care about what color she’s wearing so long as it’s all warm? Are the heels really necessary then?

And then, on our way up to this store Breakout, I noticed for the first time ever who was at the mall. Usually, I just notice if there are a lot of people or not. I don’t bother to specify and notice- hey, there are loads of old people today, or something of that sort. But today I did, and there were waaayy too many kids for comfort.

And in Breakout, bam!, it’s full of little kids! It was terrible, I was trying reaaally hard to avoid them.

Oh, and don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate kids. Well, I don’t particularly like them either…I guess it’s like people, if I like them I do, but that doesn’t mean I like all those of that age group…something like that? It depends which kid, and I’ll give you an opinion. I might love one, hate another, and just find the other three boring. But otherwise, I don’t dislike all kids in general. Kind of neutral about it? But I do have a general they-should-get-lost-ew-why-are-they-here?! attitude towards most kids HERE. That’s cuz parents let them do whatever the SHIT they want to do. And this story will explain what I mean. Since I don’t just mean that the parents will toss them their iPhones and give them their own by the age of five, I mean- well, you’ll get it soon enough.

So I’m standing towards a corner of the store featuring the guys’ stuff, cuz I was helping my mom pick something out for my brother. We finally decided on this hoodie that was stripped. But we were arguing on the color. They had this blue an green stripped one, and a navy blue and yellow one. I found the yellow one cooler, and I think my Que has waaayy too much blue and green in his wardrobe as it is. But, as we stand there debating it out, there’s this mannequin right next to me. And this little girl trying to climb it. Yes, she was in fact trying to CLIMB it. And her dad’s like right there, and he doesn’t even bat an eye, until she along with the mannequin come tuuumbling down, and she just wriggles away, jumping towards the next closest mannequin, and tries to get to the top of that one. The mannequin, explodes into an assortment of limbs on impact with the ground, right next to where I’m standing, and I narrowly avoid being impaled with a pink plastic arm.

See? Forget parenting, there’s no CONTROL over these kids here, and by the time they get to something like five, they will be untamable BEASTS. Fear them, and run. That’s the best advise I can give. When forced in their company, be wary, very very wary. But don’t flinch or show any indication of anything other than happiness and rainbows- they smell fear!

And that was my adventure at the mall. Them kids were out to get me O.o

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