The Story of A Construction Vest

I got my vest delivered to the office that Dave ordered, but nobody ever asked for my size. And that lead to quite some problems. But amusing ones. So here we go~

I rip open the box, and after shunning the disgusting hard hat into the corner under Kelly’s desk so it can never see the light of day again (there was hair in it!! Ewww), I pulled out the absolutely GORGEOUS neon yellow reflective construction crew type vest *O* I was entranced. It’s color was so beauuutifully florescent and I couldn’t wait to get it on. Which I did once Dobsin came to collect me that very day I got it.

I tore it out of it’s packaging and pulled it on. To my dismay, the size ordered was a medium, but either in men’s sizing or unisex, but either way, it definitely looked two sized too large on me. Dobsin started laughing when he saw me in it. He commented how I was basically swimming in it. Ignoring the disappointing size, I just focused on the authority it gave me on site. I was SUPPOSED to be there. And no one could question it as I blinded everyone I walked past. That cheered me up about it not fitting.

Anyhoo, it not fitting wasn’t too big a concern for me, Dobsin did say it was possible to order a new smaller one and just get the company to expense it. However, I didn’t think too much about it. I didn’t want to cause any unnecessary business, ya know? But a few days later, as Dobsin and I were in the field at Nelson again, it got pretty windy. And that’s when having a vest that fits would be ideal.

Did it catch the wind and make me feel like I was going to be blown away? Sort of. Will I admit that? Never. Did it make me look like that was true? Oh, definitely. That vest of mine would make a great parachute for me if I did end up getting blown away.

But additionally, there was another problem I hadn’t even realized…Having boobs and wearing a huge vest. Still not clear yet? Well, the wind blows that vest around in all sorts of crazy directions. But the vest is zippered on and even though it wants to fly away, it can’t, so it tries to get caught onto anything. And that’s when boobs become a problem.

The stupid vest would slide off one shoulder and force the deep v-neckline to become a boob sling on either boob depending which way the wind blew! And it was mortifying as I kept tugging and tugging at the stupid thing to keep it in place. But once we started taking shots and got into it, I couldn’t really use my hands to fix the vest and had to stand around with one boob jutting out from between the folds of my vest that were wings of an untamed creature at this point.

Dobsin was courteous enough to look away and I needed that. But I did ask then how to go about ordering a new, smaller vest. And he agreed it was absolutely necessary.

A few days later, and I actually reminded Dobsin to order it for me. It arrived on my desk Monday and I opened it up…only to discover it looked faaaar to large to be a size small. But that’s what the tag said. I stared at it suspiciously and then came to the realization that…maybe it was bigger than the vest I already had? So I pull out my medium sized vest and match the two up- LO AND BEHOLD, the new (imposter size small) vest was actually LARGER than my current one!! I died of laughter at that xD For a very good, long while.

It was an enjoyable look of disbelief I got to enjoy when I told Dobsin of how the new vest was actually bigger than my current one. So I’m stuck with the one I have now 😛 And hey, it could be worse. It could be windy. But it’s not. Haha, I just hope it stays that way! iA!

-Frostie

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