French James Bond, and Accented Me

The Names Bashir. Bashir Sahab.

It all starts at that scene where (skyfall:)  Bond and Q are sitting on a bench, discussing a painting of a ‘bloody boat’. And their having the same conversation as in the movie, but they never reach the point in the conversation where Q gives Bond a radio transmitter, and that specialized gun. Because they were interrupted.

By me. a pillar of green fire just lights up and appears out of nowhere next to them, they both sense it, freeze, but dont turn around, and wait. i step out of the flames, and just walk over to their bench. and it was as though time had stopped flowing at that point, and it started gushing again as soon as i began walking. no one else noticed me or anything out of the ordinary.

i great them (all professional spy-like) with a ‘hello, boys’. (i had a proper british accent too, yaay!) and then i zone out of their conversation and take note of my surroundings, as any experienced spy/body guard would at this point. I took note of all the exits, and everyone in the room. no one was paying any attention to Q or Bond. good. as it should be; they werent supposed to be attracting anyone’s attention. but then i felt a gaze behind me, trained on the back of my head. so i turn around to see, the dorky friend of mine, suleman.

But this suleman is not not as dorky as the real one  is dressed like a gangster in his black leather jacket, smoking a cigarette, and radiating an aura of evil. He’s at one of the entrances, leaning on the doorway passage thing, next to a trashcan (0ne of those with a upper bit thats for smoking, like a pile of sand to stick your lit cigarette into, to put it out) that was littered with cigarettes already. Before i can react to his evilness and staring at me, he turns to stare/glare at someone else. i immediately list him as a troublemaker (and a thug wanna be) and decide to keep a general guard up against him, but turn away from him after a bit.

Then, all of a sudden, we hear an explosion. i feel the shake, the shock, the tremor pass all through the museum, the pillars, and me. everyone evacuates, i turn to see suleman, but hes no longer at his post. so bond being bond, and me being me, run together at the speed of light to the room right next to us, where the explosion had come from. and Q being Q, sighed, and then chased after us.

Inside, we see that the statue at the centre of the room, which i had already seen before, was what had exploded. but the explosion had only altered the original statue. it was now a black marbled man, with a ton of dirty sand dumped on him, and many many cigarettes littered everywhere. Instantly, i think of suleman. and i go running back, but i dont see him anywhere inside the art gallary museum. so i ruuuun outside, with bond at my heels and we see him outside. he sees us, looks bewildered for a bit, but then he has the expression of the Ooooh of understandment, and then makes a run for it. classic bad guy move.

so we chase him. and chase him. and chaaase him. we chase him all the way from Britain (where we were), to Italy, to France. and then, we finally catch him because the french are just so epically amazingly awesome. I forgot the details exactly, but i think a mime tripped suleman, then bashed him on the head so he couldnt get up. suleman crashes into one of those open on the street cafes, and gets tangled up in loads of tables. Ze Helpful Waiter the fifth, comes over and accidentally spills a drink on sulemans head, so he regains consciousness. (cuz, you know, the french can only be helpful if its by accident =) im kidding, im kidding, i love the french ❤ ) anyways, we catch up to him, and this is the part which gets just a bit challenging. ligually.

Suleman starts speaking japenese. i dont know it. so i kindly request him to speak english, ‘speak english, dork!’ while bashing him on the arm. he starts speaking italian. im confused, cuz i know i should be able to understand him, but i cant. and then james bond, kinda pushes past me (we were towering over him, cuz were standing, and hes on the floor),kinda a ‘i got this’ way, and starts speaking roman. and now im really confused, and for some reason i start panicking. and these two guys can actually understand each other. ( i felt like yelling ‘how the f can you understand each other?! your speaking different languages!!’)   then, i you know say ‘can we, you know, shift over to english, if you will? so i can understand what your saying?’ in a heat of anger. bond kindly shifts to french now -.- thanks a lot, bond.but no. continue being European, why dont you -______- thhheeeen, i burst out speaking nothing but Greek, and they cant understand me, and i cant stop. i try to speak english but i just couldnt. but then, bond calms me down by speaking in english and  i use the most epic method/way ever to speak english agian. i concentrate on an irish accent, and then i can speak english again, albeit it was in a sucky irish accent but i was happy, chuffed, relieved, and chill =)

while this whole language confusion was happening, we had called the british authorities to come get suleman, once we caught him, so we were only waiting for some british  cops, governor, lestrage, to show up to arrest him. then this police boat (from britain) comes to capture suleman, and he goes off to jail (ask bond why) and then bond and i go back to debating art pieces and breaking out into epic ninja fights. oh, what a fun adventure, if i do say so myself =)

003, debriefed.