The CIE O-level Result

i just got m result, and after a veryyyy hectic way in which i got it…but more on that later. the actual result. *gaaasssp*

*le drumroll…*

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Its a baad shot, to say the least, but its a shot nonetheless of my ‘Provisional’ (whatever that means) Result. And its STRAIGHT As!! I got an A in aaaalll my subjects except for two, in which i got A STARS/A*s!!! can you believe it?! i sure as hell cant!! im dreaming~ but its REAL. dun dun duuuun. <indeed. hah. i laugh at my previous freak out now, but its still justifiable. anyways, Fari khala and co. are about to drop by to smother me with hugs, kisses, and congratulations, so ill poof for a bit then chill and tell aaaall the details. but until then heres the typed out result~

English Language                              A
Literature in English                         A*
Mathematics (syllabus D)               A
Physics                                                  A*
Chemistry                                            A
Biology                                                  A

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh. i got A*s in my WORST subjects! there is OFFICIALLY something wrong in the universe if I am getting A*s in Physics and LITERATURE. just WOW. and top of the class, Ayesha got a B in literature! in the subject i nicknamed Blasphemy, i didnt just PASS (which in itself is an accomplishment worthy of a feast and lavish presents) but i passed with the highest attainable grade! im so mindblown right now O.o

And physics- ! its an even BIGGER surprise…after the exam i thought id get a C if i was lucky. i knew nothiiiing, and i made up stuff. after the exam, everyone was all like, ‘no silly, you were supposed to do it like this, not that. that was completely and utterly wrong-but, oh its ok!  *seeing my face fall into a look of eternal despair and sorrow* im sure it wasnt all that wrong, and and youll get points for trying, right? (you do not.) oh, do cheer up now!'(m friends became someone out of the Great Gatsby after a bit. literature shall never leave my life, now shall it? oh weeeell~)

And then  i didnt get an A* in math, my best subject which is a huge let down. but its an ok let down when you look at the facts. paper II was insanely hard, harder than i expected. i messed up an ENTIRE 12 mark question, or atleast thought i did. I barely knew how to do many of the tough questions. and after the exam, i thought that the cold hard fact was that i was maybe getting a B, which for me is like a U- in math. im sorry, but i find math easy, and therefore if i get anything less than an A, i will be disappointed. and yet, im thrilled i got an A, cuz here the exam was terrible. so i wont regive the math exam. mayyyybe. lalalalala~ wohoo, highstandards~!

So now im all glammed up wearing shiny earrings and a long silver beaded necklace i got on my birthday, cuz i feel like im actually living up to my name, atleast intellectually. ‘its about time, too.’ oh shushy, brain. FYI, my name means Brilliant/Radiant. the radiant part i got down with my sunshiney and crazy personality, sparkling with facets of different personalities. (and no, on a side note i have not been diagnosed with MPD. so yeah.)

now i just got back form fari khalahs, and i talked to BK  too. i also, fyi, got to know armeens, amnas, ayeshas, and ahsens results (*cough got better than them cough*). yay ❤ but everyones result is better than they expected so almost everyones happy about it (except waleed. poor guy. speaking of which, i have to go talk to him about his result soon too.) so yippee~ (that sounds so mean after typing out the first pair of brackets and whats in them…huh.)

so now imma go get changed into comfy pjs, splash my face with water, and relaaaxe for a bit before i dive into the narrrations of what happened today. until then.

*poof*

aaaand im FINALLY back. phew. im still getting congrats calls =P oh well, deal with those all later. now in my ‘we’re all mad here’ alice in wonderland tee and tinkerbell heart printed graffiti pj bottoms listening to ‘swing low, let it rip’ (obviously a beyblade song. duh.), i can finally sorta chill out and rewind to what happened. or not. i gotta go skype with BK then cut the Well Done cake (not only did i get one cake, i got TWO?!!)

so for a second time, juuust for a bit (‘yeah riiiight *imagine an eyeroll*’ shush it briaaan >.< ) *poof*

ok. so what happened today? from the begining.

we students got a text kay (no, not really, the school always forgets to text my parents. grr. -.-) well have to pick up our result from the O-level branch at 12.30pm. later at night, the school sends out a fb message (a super unfair thing too, cuz not everyones on fb >.>) and i see it (glad i visit fb once in a blue moon atleast. i just got THAT bored that i was on fb. i otherwise never am.) and it says that were supposed to pick up our result after 3pm. THREEE!! so i chill, wake up at 1.30pm, distract myself with reading Fallen so that im not too tense, and i find out from my mom kay Uncle Man (hunain? remember that weirdo? =D ) got TEN A*s and one A =O i was blown away and super pressurized with that…i mean, i had NO expectations of any A*s and barely any As. so iwas suuuuper freaked out then. but then, ammi gets a call from Siama teacher who goes on about how her son (my classfellow, saad) already GOT his result, and so i have five minutes to get dressed, and rush out the door into the rain with my bud and neighbor zara to get our results at like 2pm or 1.45 maybe. we get them, hug, yell, cheer, and leave the school cuz there werent any other from the graduated O-level class there. so we come home, cheer and yell some more, smile and grin like craaazzyy and proceed to spread the news~ wohoo~

thats when fari khala came over, congradulated me, brought a bouquet ❤ aww and a cake with a message (Well Done *insert mah real name here xD*) which was grammatically incorrect (Well Done *COMMA*  *insert mah real name here*) and then after pictures and fb updates, we rushed off to her house, where the adults (not me. duuuh.) had tea and then us kids had yummeh snacks. then we rushed on home and and and

ahem. ‘calm down, yo.’ silence, brian! ‘hmph. just trying to help..’ >.>

and ate an early dinner and then now just waiting for a skype call and talked to ishi on fb (he got a cat named LOKI. how cool is that?!) and talked to loooaaads more people on fb, congratulating them all, and wishing them good luck if theyre gonna regive a couple exams. so thats all awesome and yay and happyish ^_^

i say happyish cuz despite all of this wonderfulness im still super miffed off right now, and i already cried today. not tears of joy. im in a bad mood mostly cuz of my huge puddle of mud sister whos not raining on my parade but sploshing dirty icky hadia-infested mud onto the banners and streamers and madhatters (yesh, plural.) shes in a bad mood, hates not being the centre of attention and hates me being happy. shes just being all huffy puffy and yelling at everyone, my mom, me, and que. its bothersome and irksome -.- shes even all angry at me for not already presenting her my cake in beautifully cut slices on a gold platter to her. hmph.

well, i have to justify to my future self WHY i was crying. i dont cry often, and even if i do, its at home and usual stress/mental breakdowns. so todays was a stress related one. sorta. my parents are asian. are super strict stereotypical asians, they want me to be a doctor. and ive decided for SURE that i dont. i dont want to go into dentistry i DONT want to be a doctor, i dont want to study medicine. i dont know what i want to do yet, but good grades isnt enough for my parents. i have to be top, which i am accomplishing somehow or the other, and i have to know what im doing with my life. no, not even that. i have to have every little detail planned out of my life. its nerve wracking. no, nerve RACKING. (‘rack’d with pains that conquere trust’. a lit student for now and for ever. -in memoriam, lord alfred tennyson. i didnt even know that i knew that quote. huh.) either way, i hate it. grr. and it made me cry. boo hoo =Y

aaaand now im sorta out of things to talk about…oh cake!

so besides the cake i got from my auntie dearest, i got a cake from Zara =O it was a surprise and an awesome one at that ❤ shes my neighbor and she got all As- and midsenence i poofed to greet and thank my uncle who just showed up out of the blue to congragulate me- except one B, which was in Math. and for her, that was an AMAZING result. so i got cake from her, and when we both got our results, we were hugging and yelling and grinning our teeth out. (ew, what DISGUTING imagery. pfft.)

side note- i saw sir yasir at school, the suuuper creepy basketball couch person and he was handling the O1 results, while i was getting my O2 one. so he was chill, and just asking about my younger brother (starting O1 this year) and it was just annoying. DUUDE. can you not SEE that i am getting the result of the past two years of labour? can you not see HOW tense and freaked out i am? i nearly turned around and bit his head off with snarky remarks. but my perfect p-p-p-p-poker face was in place and worked too. yay, maybe. oh, the perks of being the best actress at school =/

SO, i got my result which made me happy, this post is nearly so far 1,700 something words long, and counting, so i thiiiink i should just shut up, post it, and get onto skyping with BK. and thats that. so laterrr, i shall post again later (not about beyblade today, maybe later) possibly about pressure, or a weird dream, or the skype talk or random shiz like- i have no clue right now. oh yeah, my writing. you read that right. my WRITING. i shall now leave yall in suspence with that tidbit of news and now

*poof*

for real, too xD

-Ze

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THe Day of Ze Dun Dun Duuun/Despair

So. whats so special about today, and whats so brilliantly horrifying about tomorrow? hmm? no guesses? well.

Today is the twelvth of August. that makes is BKs anniveray. awwie ❤ shahzad uncle and her have been married for four years now, i think. how bootiful. (her word, not mine <3) Its so sweet to know prince charmings still exist in this world. and that she found hers and kept him held hostage for life. Hope she enjoys the special daaay~ She totally deserves it ^_^

aaaand when she called so i could wish her, i found out something that seems SO WEIRD to me. Ammar, dork, nerd, (yaoi? get anyone? anyone? no? kay. O1 joke..), and oblivious, that ammar, that ive known for the past three years, apparently wants to be an archetect (still cant spell it. LA LA LA.) AN ARCHETECT!! mhmm. which is weird cuz ive been leaning towards that for quite a while now. hmm. strangest think is, hes never said so, and hes like had this decided for the past two to three years. so yikes. cuz im just leaning towards it. i havent decided for sure, or anything like he has. that i admire. but hes never even TALKED about it before. even though weve talked aobut our futures and future dreams, and future careers loads of times. neverrr brought it up. huh. thats why i just find it so strange. it might be just me. and i never thought of ammar as an archetect before. ever. if someone asked me where hed be ten years from now, id easily say ‘Enriques wife.’ but jokes aside, second guess would be…i dont. a banker? no…an accountant maybe? yeah, ammard make a good accountant. he could also do something like Chuck (from Chuck. duh.). oh and i dont mean the whole spy thing. i was thinking a lot more along the lines of the Nerd Herd…he could be a used-computers salesman. maybe. naw, id just love to see him even just ATTEMPTING that xD hahahahaha. i can just picture it…him sweating and nervous with a tie…oh mah gosh…*gasp* breath ze, breaaathe…

ahem, so ive nearly killed myself laughing. and now, onwards to Dun Dun Duuuun news. news of despair. aww. =(

which is basically…The Result. The CIE O-level result =( nuooo. im too young to diiie~! i wanna liiiiiiive >x<  which which determines SO MUCH. and im terrified. so terrified that i cant sleep. meh. that NEVER happens. ive never been too scared to sleep before. ever. even before the Result of my Stats exam. but i know why its different today. it sunk in. it NEVER sinks in. basically, it feels like a dream, not REAL, not happeing. its like i cant deal with it, so my brains like ‘chill out ze, i got this.’ and then it proceeds to release thousands of endorphines and shiz making me super highish and in a dream like trance, really. Which is awesome when it comes to coping with all of it. i just cant handle stress, apparently. and its not like i stress out often either. buuut this sucks in the sense that when whatever-too-stressful-and-serious-to-deal-with is actually happening, im too carefree, and joking around and NOT taking it seriously at ALL. which can suck. like singing to yourself, bursting out laughing and stealing colorful paper in the exam hall of my first ever CIE exam. yeah. everyone did indeed think i was crazy (that part was awesome). and ammar had this look like ‘my gawd. she finally cracked’. it only made me laugh harder. so yeah. wohoo. handling stress. yup, i got it.

and tomorrow i get the Result to all that craziness >~< and all that craziness i wrote down on paper in MAY. exams. in the CIE exams. i still cant believe i have to face this. i cant believe its already HERE, to be faced. ugh. exams. they age us a lot faster than something like responserbileries (Rugrats anyone? yesh? congrats, you had a childhood~ no? i pity you.) ever will/would/can.

mhmm. freakedish about that. but after getting all this out, i think i can finally sorta go to sleep. i  AM sleepy. and my head hurts. i should wear my glasses more as im using the laptop all day… ‘stupid ze, i told you so~!’ damn you, brain, damn you.

well, its time to hit the hay. *yawn* (<btw, i legitly yawned there. the timing was just so perfect i had to put it down here.)

*poof*

-Ze

ps.
my brain is a completely diffferent entity in mah head. there are voices. theres me, and then theres Jimminy Cricket and then theres Brain/Brian (igore. google it. RIGHT now.). And thus the damn you brain line. talking to myself means i get to converse with all of these facets of the same personality. Maud. Frosty. Ze. Wattson. and others too. like Brian and Cricket, but to name a few.

i think ive scared yall, and possibly my family and future-self enough for one day. but i do have the best excuse ever to back it up (no, not my craziness.). i get my RESULT on the marrow. so yeah. crazy voices in my head? completely justified.

‘just dont tell them ive been here since you were 14 and alls good.’

thanks a lot, brain, for your veryyyy valuble input. *rolls eyse*

im gonna read myself to sleep to shut brain up now. and im hungry. wohoo. best combo ever. hunger, tiredness and sleepiness. yay.

id ramble on and on about beyblade but im waaay too tired. tomorrow or maybe a few days later? im counting on you to remember that, brain!

‘huh, what? sorry, i was busy deciding whether you want nutella on toast or nutella on a spoon.’

does it MATTER, brain?! nutellas nutella! so less with the chitty chatty, so we cant get on with the eaty eaty of the nutellaa!

‘point taken. alright, wrap this up, and then the feet will do their own thing and get you there. or you could fly. just saying. but itd be quicker if you just published this already. cant promise what might happen when the hunger kicks in and you just take off without publishing this post. might even be midsentence.’

what do you mean, midsentence? ive got the perseverence and determination and dedication to post all of this with a nice and proper sign off, a proper goodbye to anyone who reads this itty bitty bit of grapffiti on this wall. anyone who takes the time out of their life deserves a bit of grattitude for doing so and i for one intend to give them the full appreciation that they deserve. and even-

‘well, there go the legs. off we go. march. to that kitchen cabinet~!’

damn you, brain. damn you.
. . . . .
onwards to nutella~!

Exam Prep/Freak Out/Past Paper Rage

Yeah, yeah, i know, i should be studying right now. and chill out, i AM. im doing physics MCQ past papers on Xtremepapers.com right now. so yeah.

but i am freaked. i mean, ive got the most important exams of my life in 6 days- wait, no its past midnight so technically five days. not like im counting. oh no. my friends do that for me. ‘only ___ days til our exams, like, ohmagooodddd!!’ you are not making the pressure any easier to deal with, oh dearest friends of mine -.-

so anyways, i was supposed to get my past paper booklets yesterday. i ordered them on sat, paid for 75% of them, and even had a witness. buuut, evil photocopier dude, LOST my order, and on top of that, FORGOT to print them out. so i was told to pick them up today. but, boy, did i freak out. i cried and cried, that theres only a week left, and the freakin loser just cost me a day of my prep time! grrr…but i finally got them today, so im feeling a loooot better about my prep, although im still freaking and ill tell you why.

one, im not a genius nor a nerd; im not adil nor a fiza. ive only started preparing for Bio. (theory is right after the atps.) and ive done math past papers sorta at my math tution. but otherwise, i havent studied shit seriously for physics, and i havent as yet TOUCHED chemistry. so im freaking out majorly about chemistry…

And Math. see, i havent practiced math in atleast a yr, since i got sir sohrab as my teacher, and im totally out of practice and my prep is literally less than one fourth the prep i had LAST year when i attended sir farid’s math tution and didnt even GIVE the exam last year…so very veryyy scared about even math. and i used to be better than adil at it too!! >.< aaarrrggghhhh

speaking of genius adil, i talked to his mom the day we were getting our mock results (were childhood friends;ive known him since 3rd grade) and shes going on how shes forcing a genius like adil to study 8 hours a day. lady, im not even studying 3! 3 hours, max, breaks included. im soooo scaaared =(

and and literature. i havent even ever once finished reading the entire wuthering heights. when i went off to the national debating thing, i missed loads of stuff, and havent really read up on what i missed. soo yeaaah. there shall always be apprehensive when it comes to the literarure exam, regardless of your mock grade (i got a 82%! the only one in class who got over 80! ME! and A!! =O) and prep, and grasp of the storyline/plot/ coursework, basically.

and then theres loaaads of nervousness when it comes down to the science subjects too..very much so…i hope i truly pray for atleast an A in physics so i dont have to regive it…

i hope and pray these cursed exams go well. then i can finally look forward to a whole summer vacation of nothingness and  , eventually, boredome. ah, but that boredome is still much more preffered over this evil evil exam time, no? =P

i cant wait for this stuff to end….

and i do promise, as soon as my exams end, ill update my blog. bring it up to speed. ill put all my wacko weirdo dreams up. ill add a bunch more of gahssip junk from the Lyla and co. group. and ill talk more about random shiz again =)

until then, toodles~

haha, toodles =P pathetic…

Later, Homies!

yeaaah, i know the ‘homies’ doesnt make it all that much cooler…=P

The Deceiving Tiny Thumbnail and Results Freakout

as i have been doing very expertly recently, ive been procrastinating a loooot now a days. im on an unexpected holiday, what do you want me to do? enjoy this while it lasts, since once i get busy again, ill post here less. but, ohz well =P

So was watching youtube videos agaaain…and i clicked on a video with  a cute guy in the thumbnail pic, and he is prettyyy cute =3 sure, its embarrassing that i actually started watching his videos just cuz i think hes cute, (deal with it, im just openly shallow that way =P 😉 ) but am i really the only one? im sure im not the first girl to do that =D admit it, someone out there has been doing this waaaay longer (and possibly sooner than i have.). and today was the first noticable, rememerable time too. though im sure ive done it before too, its just that whoevers videos they were were just not funny, or he turned out to be ugly, or just not as cute as i thought. Dont be deceived by the tiny thumbnail as i was! …and the dudes name is DamonFizzy, and he makes some pretty hilarious stuff =) now, id like to see what future-me has to say when she searches him on youtube 4 years later…thatd be interesting 😉

And i just watched the first two episodes of Pretty Little Liars S-II (season 2) and i love it. its just so interesting, and totally a teen drama. but usually it scares, and creeps me out when i watch it at night. i just get paranoid, cuz i over think things. bleh, but thats just me =P and i really wanted to watch season 2 as soon as i had finished one, but i my stupid biased internet wouldnt let me. so i couldnt and thus i didnt. (my parent would never let me watch something that wasnt rated ‘everyone’. im not even allowed to watch the simpsons. and my dad wont let me get Victorious (from nick) season 2 either -.- ) and so when it started working on fire fox, i watched two episodes, even though its night time. hee hee.

i got into a sorta fight with  my brother yesterday, and now were not talking. otherwise id force him to come protect me and id watch more. oh well. he got me angry, made me cry, but i dont even understand why i cried. in the end, i realized that im the only one that everrrr says sorry and puts it all behind us, pretending it never happened. he needs to learn to say sorry, even if its not his fault (not saying it isnt here). i mean, thats a pretty prominent reason why he doesnt have any friends. barely any. more on my poor lil bros life later. back to meee. i am, after all, the star of this blog =P i kid you not, i am not that self centered, and shallow =)

Oh, and this saturday (day after tomorrow) i am getting  my midterm result. and its a PTA (parent teacher attendance. thats what i call it, but its supposed to be a ptm, meeting. bleh. too mainstream =P jk, no, im so not a hipster ^_^ ). so now i freak out about my result, GET it with my parents behind me and peeking over my shoulder, and then get dissed by my teachers for being too distracted in class/doodling too much/ talking too much, and then come home to *sigh of relief, its all overrrr* oh wait its not! cuz  my parents shall now yell and lecture me, and send my off to a thousand tutions!! oh nooo! well- worst case scenario at least. i might have some hope after all =/

And then on Tuesday, i get my official cambridge result. eeeps. so scared about my stats result! soooo freaaaking ouuut!

…..aaaand i still havent finished my hws yet -.- most of them i have yet to start. huzzah, go me -___________-

anyways, ill just do ONE more descriptive post, cuz otherwise i wont tell it right, and then oooffff to bed! i cant wait. wait for me, my love! (the bed, obviously =P )

Frosty’s Chilling.

^you so did not see that coming. i know it. 😀