The Story of A Construction Vest

I got my vest delivered to the office that Dave ordered, but nobody ever asked for my size. And that lead to quite some problems. But amusing ones. So here we go~

I rip open the box, and after shunning the disgusting hard hat into the corner under Kelly’s desk so it can never see the light of day again (there was hair in it!! Ewww), I pulled out the absolutely GORGEOUS neon yellow reflective construction crew type vest *O* I was entranced. It’s color was so beauuutifully florescent and I couldn’t wait to get it on. Which I did once Dobsin came to collect me that very day I got it.

I tore it out of it’s packaging and pulled it on. To my dismay, the size ordered was a medium, but either in men’s sizing or unisex, but either way, it definitely looked two sized too large on me. Dobsin started laughing when he saw me in it. He commented how I was basically swimming in it. Ignoring the disappointing size, I just focused on the authority it gave me on site. I was SUPPOSED to be there. And no one could question it as I blinded everyone I walked past. That cheered me up about it not fitting.

Anyhoo, it not fitting wasn’t too big a concern for me, Dobsin did say it was possible to order a new smaller one and just get the company to expense it. However, I didn’t think too much about it. I didn’t want to cause any unnecessary business, ya know? But a few days later, as Dobsin and I were in the field at Nelson again, it got pretty windy. And that’s when having a vest that fits would be ideal.

Did it catch the wind and make me feel like I was going to be blown away? Sort of. Will I admit that? Never. Did it make me look like that was true? Oh, definitely. That vest of mine would make a great parachute for me if I did end up getting blown away.

But additionally, there was another problem I hadn’t even realized…Having boobs and wearing a huge vest. Still not clear yet? Well, the wind blows that vest around in all sorts of crazy directions. But the vest is zippered on and even though it wants to fly away, it can’t, so it tries to get caught onto anything. And that’s when boobs become a problem.

The stupid vest would slide off one shoulder and force the deep v-neckline to become a boob sling on either boob depending which way the wind blew! And it was mortifying as I kept tugging and tugging at the stupid thing to keep it in place. But once we started taking shots and got into it, I couldn’t really use my hands to fix the vest and had to stand around with one boob jutting out from between the folds of my vest that were wings of an untamed creature at this point.

Dobsin was courteous enough to look away and I needed that. But I did ask then how to go about ordering a new, smaller vest. And he agreed it was absolutely necessary.

A few days later, and I actually reminded Dobsin to order it for me. It arrived on my desk Monday and I opened it up…only to discover it looked faaaar to large to be a size small. But that’s what the tag said. I stared at it suspiciously and then came to the realization that…maybe it was bigger than the vest I already had? So I pull out my medium sized vest and match the two up- LO AND BEHOLD, the new (imposter size small) vest was actually LARGER than my current one!! I died of laughter at that xD For a very good, long while.

It was an enjoyable look of disbelief I got to enjoy when I told Dobsin of how the new vest was actually bigger than my current one. So I’m stuck with the one I have now 😛 And hey, it could be worse. It could be windy. But it’s not. Haha, I just hope it stays that way! iA!

-Frostie

Exiled From Ireland&The Irish Love Me

Obviously.

Anyways, i have a dream where im in this plain boring area, with hills and a sun above them, and nothing else. all in shades of yellow, green, and orange (yes, even the sun.) and yet somehow i know im in ireland.

Scene shift. at this absolutely gorgeous mountain top, with magnificent mountains as far as the eye can see. its a crisp winter morning, but insanely sunny. my perfect winter weather. we’re in this amazing manor, castle, thing. all grey carved stone, and beautiful. its brilliant. and then, there are all these random people scattered here and there. and theyre about to announce who got shuffled into which team with who. anyways, ayesha and i are super excited, but ayesha’s flipping out with insane hand gestures and everything. (so very un ayesha like). shes going on about how cool itd be if she gets an actual french person on her team and they become great friends. and i want to make friends with whoevers on my team.

anways, they announce the teams, and group us all together. we then are supposed to hang out together as a team to improve our teamwork and get to know each other more. after a debate and all that time, i become really close friends with this irish guy on my team. we become bros. its awesome =) and then after that, when we get our own free time to spend with whomever we choose, i go find ayesha. shes ecstatic cuz she has a french chick on her team. so thats cool, sure why not, were both happy.

later on, i see ayesha hanging out (bothering) the frenchie girl, and its pretty obvious that shes  irritated. yet ayesha being oblivious to this, continues her pursuit of being best friends with the Croissant Lover. she goes on about our (ayesha and mine) lit references, how shes the Lady of Shallot, how she has always considers herself french, and french worthy, blah blah blah. anyways, im then hanging out with Irish-Guy (and i dont remember what he looked like much- possibly blonde with green eyes? im not sure…but i do remember that he was hot. buuut i wasnt into him. not then. yes, there IS a sequel dream! =D ) and we become closer friends.

the next time i see ayesha, she has irked the french chick to a terrible extreme where she snaps at ayesha. ayesha gets stunned and a bit confused and tries to appologize and then go on about how theyre such good freinds and forgive each other. Madam Mustache (..no she didnt have one..but-but still =P) gets more annoyed, and tells ayesha shes not worthy of calling herself french let alone being french, and how shes just an annoying little wanna be. ayesha gets angry now, and they proceed to a full scale riot yelling match fight thing. then this girl sues ayesha, and takes her to the french embassy. there, all the french also hate ayesha, and tell those in charge of our debate tournament training thing (the debating TTT =P ) that they hate her and will not tolerate her being in ireland where shes happy and where currently there are a lot of french people or something. the irsih are totally chill and are just like, ‘yeah, sure, cool, why dont we just exile her, yeah?’ and thus ayesha gets exiled from ireland.

now, we;re at this scene where ayeshas crossing the boarder. once again, in all shades of orange, green and yellow, strangely. so ayeshas leaving and she asks me to cross over with her, you know, lets ditch this popsickle stand kinda thing. (i would never call ireland a popsickle stand but you get the idea right? no offense..) and im fine with leaving (since i can come back. no exile for me =) ) but all these random irish people appear and they say no, i cant go because they like me and are attached to me. aw, im loved by the irish ❤ anyways, as this happens, my irish guy friend was standing by my side the entire time and when the ayesha asks me to leave with her, he hugs me. like, NO. she wont go. it was cute.

all and all, this is a pretty morality type dream of mine.

the irish will love me. the irish are cool and chill. ayesha doesnt belong in ireland. ayesha is to be hated by the french. and, apparently, ayesha doesnt have what it takes to call herself and to BE french. yowch. and obviously, the sun is secretly green, orange and red in ireland. i feel so much more enlightened now. =)