French James Bond, and Accented Me

The Names Bashir. Bashir Sahab.

It all starts at that scene where (skyfall:)  Bond and Q are sitting on a bench, discussing a painting of a ‘bloody boat’. And their having the same conversation as in the movie, but they never reach the point in the conversation where Q gives Bond a radio transmitter, and that specialized gun. Because they were interrupted.

By me. a pillar of green fire just lights up and appears out of nowhere next to them, they both sense it, freeze, but dont turn around, and wait. i step out of the flames, and just walk over to their bench. and it was as though time had stopped flowing at that point, and it started gushing again as soon as i began walking. no one else noticed me or anything out of the ordinary.

i great them (all professional spy-like) with a ‘hello, boys’. (i had a proper british accent too, yaay!) and then i zone out of their conversation and take note of my surroundings, as any experienced spy/body guard would at this point. I took note of all the exits, and everyone in the room. no one was paying any attention to Q or Bond. good. as it should be; they werent supposed to be attracting anyone’s attention. but then i felt a gaze behind me, trained on the back of my head. so i turn around to see, the dorky friend of mine, suleman.

But this suleman is not not as dorky as the real one  is dressed like a gangster in his black leather jacket, smoking a cigarette, and radiating an aura of evil. He’s at one of the entrances, leaning on the doorway passage thing, next to a trashcan (0ne of those with a upper bit thats for smoking, like a pile of sand to stick your lit cigarette into, to put it out) that was littered with cigarettes already. Before i can react to his evilness and staring at me, he turns to stare/glare at someone else. i immediately list him as a troublemaker (and a thug wanna be) and decide to keep a general guard up against him, but turn away from him after a bit.

Then, all of a sudden, we hear an explosion. i feel the shake, the shock, the tremor pass all through the museum, the pillars, and me. everyone evacuates, i turn to see suleman, but hes no longer at his post. so bond being bond, and me being me, run together at the speed of light to the room right next to us, where the explosion had come from. and Q being Q, sighed, and then chased after us.

Inside, we see that the statue at the centre of the room, which i had already seen before, was what had exploded. but the explosion had only altered the original statue. it was now a black marbled man, with a ton of dirty sand dumped on him, and many many cigarettes littered everywhere. Instantly, i think of suleman. and i go running back, but i dont see him anywhere inside the art gallary museum. so i ruuuun outside, with bond at my heels and we see him outside. he sees us, looks bewildered for a bit, but then he has the expression of the Ooooh of understandment, and then makes a run for it. classic bad guy move.

so we chase him. and chase him. and chaaase him. we chase him all the way from Britain (where we were), to Italy, to France. and then, we finally catch him because the french are just so epically amazingly awesome. I forgot the details exactly, but i think a mime tripped suleman, then bashed him on the head so he couldnt get up. suleman crashes into one of those open on the street cafes, and gets tangled up in loads of tables. Ze Helpful Waiter the fifth, comes over and accidentally spills a drink on sulemans head, so he regains consciousness. (cuz, you know, the french can only be helpful if its by accident =) im kidding, im kidding, i love the french ❤ ) anyways, we catch up to him, and this is the part which gets just a bit challenging. ligually.

Suleman starts speaking japenese. i dont know it. so i kindly request him to speak english, ‘speak english, dork!’ while bashing him on the arm. he starts speaking italian. im confused, cuz i know i should be able to understand him, but i cant. and then james bond, kinda pushes past me (we were towering over him, cuz were standing, and hes on the floor),kinda a ‘i got this’ way, and starts speaking roman. and now im really confused, and for some reason i start panicking. and these two guys can actually understand each other. ( i felt like yelling ‘how the f can you understand each other?! your speaking different languages!!’)   then, i you know say ‘can we, you know, shift over to english, if you will? so i can understand what your saying?’ in a heat of anger. bond kindly shifts to french now -.- thanks a lot, bond.but no. continue being European, why dont you -______- thhheeeen, i burst out speaking nothing but Greek, and they cant understand me, and i cant stop. i try to speak english but i just couldnt. but then, bond calms me down by speaking in english and  i use the most epic method/way ever to speak english agian. i concentrate on an irish accent, and then i can speak english again, albeit it was in a sucky irish accent but i was happy, chuffed, relieved, and chill =)

while this whole language confusion was happening, we had called the british authorities to come get suleman, once we caught him, so we were only waiting for some british  cops, governor, lestrage, to show up to arrest him. then this police boat (from britain) comes to capture suleman, and he goes off to jail (ask bond why) and then bond and i go back to debating art pieces and breaking out into epic ninja fights. oh, what a fun adventure, if i do say so myself =)

003, debriefed.

 

 

The War Against the Land King

just last night i had to dreams ( i woke up in the middle, after one ended and it sorta kind but didnt continue from there) you see, this story is after the first one. ill post the first one later, its actually romantic which my dreams never are, so heres one that is more a typical dream for me (actually, its not so typical either, cuz the moon didnt explode in this one! usually the moon, or something else behind me explodes in my dreams =P ) so anyways, lets start the story from the top. But this i do need to mention, that Ayesha and i did not know of the existence of the Two Romeos in this continuation, especially that they were in Florida with us.

Ayesha (one of my best friends) was sitting with me at this beautiful cafe. The birds were singing, the Sun was shinning through the green leaves of this beautiful, large majestic tree that towered above us, and we were eating ice cream and sipping iced tea and coffee (needless to say who had the coffee, eh? =P) We were laughing and having fun. Now, for some reason, ayesha was technologically more advanced than me since she had her cellphone with her, and it bzzzed, notifying her that she had gotten a text. Now, here, we dont know that Ammar and Adil are also in Florida with us on a vacation. Ammar had just texted her asking if she wanted to hangout. so she replies that, sorry dude, we cant, were chilling in florida, on a vacation. to which he replies, im here too with adil, wanna go to an aquarium? so we kinda have nothing better to do and say yeah, sure why not. So now we have plans.

Next scene: we’re at the aquarium. now adil and i are childhood friends (form the 3rd grade) and both are pokefanatics. so we see manta rays and explode into an argument about whether this particular species resemble mantyke or mantine. this debate quickly developes into a ‘do you even know which is which?’ argument. at this, ayesha and ammar (not die hard pokefreaks, sad i know =/ they totally wasted their childhoods..) start their own convo that i didnt hear, so i dont know what they were talking about. And we have looong arguments. so by this time, we have entered this one way tunnel where the walls are made of glass and contain all these fish, like this real one somewhere in Dubai, UAE. And now i notice that all the people ahead of us are kinda grouping towards the wall, as if making a path for us to walk through. so now i and co. halt in our tracks and stare ahead expectantly.

i dont know what dream-me was expecting but it certainly wasnt this. Maaz (Tariq, basketball jock) comes over, no, galloping over, while riding a seahorse. strangely, dream-me had no issue finding this weird. what i did find weird were everyones reactions to his arrival. Adil bursts out a ‘whatya doing here?!’ which i think is the most realistic, and exactly what i was thinking at that point but was too speechless to say. Ayesha is confused and is freaking out. also realistic. and ammar. ammar, shoves between adil and i (we were leading this wonderful rally), and pushing up his sleeve glances at his watch and growls ‘its about time!’. (hee hee, ammar growling). now im totally like O________o

Ammar starts ranting about they dont have ‘enough time to strategize and plan now’. this apparently makes loads of sense to ayesha, since she gasps the Ooooooh of understandment (its a thing now, get used to it. kinda like French the Llama.) and says ‘so thats why you called me over! to be the strategist. afterall, i am the only one here qualified to do it here, since im smart’. To which adil scoffs ‘more like a consultant. maybe, since im the smartest one here, and im the strategist.’ Now dream-me is pretty dumb, and justs watch ayesha blush at her baisty/burn and start an argument with adil which ammar plans out a new schedule( like Mr. Herriman would). So i go up to maaz and try to get him, Oh-Seahorse-Master to shed some light on this baffling series of events.

Here i feel compelled to mention his attire (and adils too, in a bit. it is always note worthy.).He is wearing this ginormous swirly seashell on his head, kinda like those shell fish ones, i think as a crown. hes wearing his glasses as usual, and then, at his hip, he had a fencing sword. ah, but not any fencing sword, one that was evidently crafted using KND technology. it had a handle that was either ivory or bone (not too sure about the difference there anyways =S) and the blade- wait for it- was made entirely out of toothpicks he Prince of the Sea himself. And, if youve seen the episode where no.3 has to save no.3 from that sand castle king of the beach dude/brat? well, remember the three ‘knights’ wo wore different types of sea themed armor? he wore clothes a bit like a mixed version of the purple one and the orange one, but more princely and entirely blue. in case you havent, and dont understand my Kids Next Door reference, heres a link to a picture; http://www.google.com.pk/imgres?hl=en&tbo=d&biw=1050&bih=629&tbm=isch&tbnid=LsVJCvewGxWKaM:&imgrefurl=http://knd.wikia.com/wiki/Knights_of_the_Round_Towel&docid=od-PIZ2xo8gRhM&imgurl=http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100815215849/knd/images/e/ed/Knights_of_the_Round_Towel.jpg&w=431&h=290&ei=UC_nUN_AHbOM4gSVkYHABA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=200&vpy=296&dur=3635&hovh=184&hovw=274&tx=149&ty=73&sig=110513296423729959206&page=1&tbnh=134&tbnw=222&start=0&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:0,i:103 woooow, thats a long link. and just to clearify (and put this picture here too!) when i say Prince of the Sea, i dont mean King Sandy http://www.google.com.pk/imgres?hl=en&tbo=d&biw=1050&bih=629&tbm=isch&tbnid=1vY0xDgLIf_6xM:&imgrefurl=http://knd.wikia.com/wiki/King_Sandy&docid=rCQXesdA-4mGlM&imgurl=http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091018003924/knd/images/e/e0/King_Sandy.jpg&w=640&h=480&ei=UC_nUN_AHbOM4gSVkYHABA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=239&vpy=143&dur=518&hovh=170&hovw=227&tx=113&ty=121&sig=110513296423729959206&page=1&tbnh=155&tbnw=207&start=0&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0,i:88

And so my conversation with Sir Maaz…’hey whats going on??’ he decides to respond by pointing his blessed sword at my throat and says ‘ silence, infidel  or a shall be forced to silence you myself by beheading you!’ which seems very non-maaz-like and very knightly-outta-control-arrogant of him. so i give him one more chance before i just at him with my mad ninja skills. ‘maaz, whaaat is going on?’ this is the part where dream-me redeems herself by showing some signs of intelligence: ‘hey, you sound as if there’s a war coming up or somthing. are you going to war?’ i also thought ‘are you going to war dressed like that riding that??!‘ too but didnt say anything incase i was beheaded, you know. so he answers, ‘yes, i am declaring a war. against the Land King’. and he says this with closure, as if its climactic, dramatically, and with finality. i am now like, lost completely and forever.

i then am just like ‘yeaaaah, good luck with that..’ and it sorta ends. or atleast, i think the dream ends here. my dad interrupted me to drag me out to celebrate his wedding anniversary at 12.02 am. so my writing flow was interrupted and i dont remember what exactly it was i was supposed to / going to write after that bit about the clothes. hml…nope, still drawing a blank. grrr..

Oh yeah, and as per my dream rules, adil had to have had one of those curly-tipped french cartoon mustaches. (no offense to the French, you guys totally rule! =) ) and he was wearing regular jeans until maaz, prince of the sea, showed up. then, the jeans magically became red tights. *shudder*

now im gonna have a pretty hard time getting to sleep with that obscene image stuck in my head -.- oh well, another post sure to come, if im not entirely exhausted by then =)

Ciao~